Communicating with some people is simply difficult and it does not matter whether they are your subordinates or superiors. Here are three types of phrases you can use to make other people more receptive to your suggestions. Persuading others will make your life easier: this is the message from the addicted2success.com website.
1) Use phrases that defuse
When you are faced with a difficult person, it is often the case that their negative approach is a default modus operandi. Use such phrases as:
- It seems to me …
- This is just my opinion but …
- I may be wrong about this …
First, these phrases will surprise them because that isn’t how people usually react when talking to them. You have soothed their ego as the phrases mentioned are ego-softening for everyone.
Second, you’re not saying that you are right and they are wrong (which is what they are used to hearing). Instead, you are allowing for the distinct possibility that you might be wrong. That will cause them to drop their guard and both of you will be open to other solutions.
2) Try to understand
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Difficult people often behave the way they do because they need to be heard. Try another type of softening phrase, such as:
- For my own clarification …
- I’m just curious about …
These suggest that you are sincerely interested in their point of view. The difficult person becomes less defensive and starts explaining their point of view in more rational terms. You will then be able to reply to their genuine objections and start working toward a resolution.
3) Offer to play your part
Use positive persuasion phrases like:
- What can I do to help?
- Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?
Now they are encouraged to engage in seeking constructive feedback. Keep cool and calm yourself and simply ask the right questions.
-jk-