A constructive guide on how to dispel doubts in just a few minutes

We subconsciously assume that if we have concerns regardless of whether an unpleasant situation actually occurs, we will be better prepared. But that is nonsense. The British writer J. K. Rowling once said: "Concerns mean that you suffer twice." She was right. Doubts and fears are of no use. Therefore, we offer a guide on how to deal with them very quickly.

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1. Identify the trigger or situation

One of the most common triggers is a notorious doubt of the "What if?" type. What if I get sick? What if I lose my job? What if I fail? ... It can also be a specific situation that will cast doubt on your abilities.

2. Evaluate the intensity of your concern

Once you have successfully identified the thought that triggered the alarm in your central nervous system, rate the intensity of your emotions from 1 to 100. For example, "Anxiety, 85/100".

3. Think about the possible consequences

People who struggle with anxiety and fear often have an extremely active imagination. They immediately envisage the worst-case scenario taking place right before their eyes, and their defence system reports the highest alert system. Take a moment to write down what you think would happen if ... You can include your reaction, other people's reactions, what they will say, what you will do, etc.

4. Examine evidence in support of the concern

Find factual support that confirms your concerns. This may seem counterproductive but it will give you the opportunity to step aside and realise the extent to which your concern is realistic.

5. Examine evidence against the concern

On the other hand, what is there to suggest your disturbing thought is misplaced? Ask yourself whether you have felt such fears before. How many times? You may find it has occurred only once in your entire life, or never. It is often useful also to recall examples where you previously succeeded in performing the same task you are now worried about. Plus it may be worth evaluating the probability of something happening (again on a scale of 0 to 100): this will help challenge negative thoughts about natural concerns.

6. Move towards more realistic and balanced thinking

Think about what you would say to a friend who is worried about the same thing. How would you try to alleviate their worries? Use compassion to fight the supposed disaster. How likely is there to be a more favourable scenario instead? And how important is this situation in the whole spectrum of your life? Is the amount of energy you consume by worrying commensurate with this importance?

7. Re-evaluate the intensity of anxiety and worry

Thanks to the previous steps, many people usually achieve a certain reduction in anxiety. This in itself can provide the motivation to begin questioning automatic negative thoughts.

 

Remember: if this exercise doesn't work for you first time, don't take it as a personal failure. Sometimes it can be very difficult in the short term to take a broader view on your own. Therefore, ask someone you trust to help you gain a sense of perspective.

 

 

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Article source Psychology Today - a U.S. magazine and online community focused on psychology
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