How to handle unfair feedback

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Imagine a customer calls your boss to complain about you. Your boss is obviously not pleased to hear it and so he does not ask for too many details about what happened. He automatically assumes that the fault is yours because you have not served the customer well. This is a typical example of a situation when an employee feels his boss' criticism is unjustified and unfair.

It does not matter whether your boss remains relatively calm or starts screaming when expressing the customer's complaints, you don't agree with his accusations. How should you react? The following practical steps were published on the Harvard Business Review website.

1. Do not act rashly

Remain calm, do not immediately express disagreement and avoid any emotional outbursts. By getting angry, you only make the problem worse. Listen to the criticism and assume that your boss has good intentions and wants to help you by sharing his feedback. Realize that another meeting with your boss will probably follow and then you will be able to discuss the whole issue more calmly and completely.

2. Make sure you understand the criticism correctly

When you keep calm, you can ask a few questions that will help you better understand the situation. Ask for example: "What exactly do you think I said or did? What problems of the customer do you think I overlooked? What do you think made me behave in that way?" You may not only find out how your boss interprets what happened, but also reveal his hidden prejudices about you personally and your work.

3. Ask for examples

Be interested in how you could have handled the situation better. Ask your boss whether he could describe some specific examples or how he himself would have behaved. At the same time, ask for examples of what you managed well so that the debate is more balanced. Finally, summarize what you could improve.

4. Thank for the feedback and ask for some time

Say you appreciate the feedback and ask for some time to think about it. At the same time, make it clear that you want to talk to your boss about the incident in more detail and share some observations from your perspective. Suggest that you could talk again in a few days to bring closure to the issue.

5. Ask others about their opinions

Ask your co-workers for opinions on how you have treated the customer. Find someone, it can be a friend outside the company, who will honestly tell you whether it was your fault.

6. Prepare for the second meeting

First, summarize what you have heard from your boss and how you perceive the situation. Describe what you plan to change based on the feedback received. If you still believe that you have done nothing wrong, say so. However, be as calm as possible and agree on the best possible way to deal with similar situations in the future.

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Article source Harvard Business Review - flagship magazine of Harvard Business School
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