Listening is not always the same thing as paying attention. Here are three more tips to help you become truly effective at listening to other people.

Ask someone to give you feedback

Many people tend to frown when listening. Or they rest their chin on their hands and cover their mouth. The result? Co-workers and employees may have trouble openly expressing their ideas because they can feel intimidated and judged before even saying a single word.

Check how you affect others when listening. Ask a trusted person on your team to evaluate what you look like when you listen. Once you've received feedback, you can make any necessary adjustments.

Try doing the same self-assessment with someone over the phone. Up to 80% of the body's reaction is projected into the tone of voice. Ask the other party about their impression of your listening.

Beware of pitfalls, mental filters and inappropriate reactions

You can't completely eliminate the pitfalls but you can remember and reduce them. Some communication barriers are self-inflicted, for example by inappropriately chosen expressions, which may come as an unpleasant surprise to the other party.

Beware also of certain automatic judgments or "mental filters" that can act as your personal triggers and distort the reception of information.

Another drawback is the "inappropriate response", such as interruptions and jumping into someone else's speech or providing unsolicited advice.

Try instead to make more use of, for example, nodding, paraphrase, summary, and even silence if appropriate.

Create a plan

Choose the area in which you want to improve (reminder of details, perspective, judgment, perception or empathy), which was described in the first part of the article. Then choose two or three situations where you will focus specifically on improving that skill. Evaluate your progress after a week of training.

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